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Celebrate Chinese New Year with Fortune Cookies, Foreboding Fortunes and All

You can't beat a mean-spirited fortune.

Eating fortune cookies ranks high on the list as the best part of  a Chinese New Year celebration, which started Monday and goes for 15 days. 

I keep a fortune in my wallet to remind me of fun times shared with friends and family.

But sappy fortunes like, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade” and “You will be lucky in love” are as fake and phony as the lips of an Orange County socialite. 

Cry me a river, but a mean-spirited fortune beats the heck out of your standard one.

After cracking open a dozen crisp cookies at , I finally stumbled upon the Holy Grail of mean fortunes.  

“People compare themselves to you in order to feel better,” predicted my bad fortune, a real doozy. 

Pondering my prophecy, I stuffed it away in my pocket but spied another tucked behind a carton of Mongolian beef. This one cautioned, “You will become a great bore in your later years.”   

Eureka, the mother load!

What's the meanest fortune you ever received? Tell us in the comments.

Lynn Kruger January 25, 2012 at 05:01 PM
Great article but I doubt you will ever have a boring bone in your body! This isn't a fortune but this quote surely made me think when I read it "Don't be so humble- you are not that great". Golda Meir
Ashley January 25, 2012 at 05:30 PM
my best fortune, "you will be abducted by aliens." I'm still nervous to this day.

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