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Health & Fitness

A Tale of Two Folders

Why are our children so mature?

Last week when i dropped my son off at his day care, I flipped through the parent file to see if there was any upcoming events or newletters for me.

As I passed the folder before his, I noticed "Elisa's dad" and "Elisa's mom," two separate folders. Several thoughts went through my mind. That's smart to have separate folders so that each parent can have personal copies, seeing that they probably don't share a common fridge or bulletin board, and then a little sad, that the two can't communicate for the child's sake.  

If two people can't work in a marriage or relationship, how do they work together for the sake of the children?  It is all too common for us to hear of a "messy" divorce or a child custody "battle." The term messy and battle are used all too often.

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Recently, my son's teacher said to me "he is getting so mature."  He's only 4, but he's had to learn how to sleep in different rooms, follow two sets of different rules, adapt to two completely different environments for almost half of his life. Because he has "two homes," he has been forced into a life situation that he had to mature for.

No matter what "family" dynamic one has at home, the main focus in raising children, should be to RAISE children.  Indeed it does, "take a village" to raise a child these days.

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As a middle school teacher at Wells Middle School, I see students younger and younger, exposed to so much more than I was at their age. Children seem to be raising themselves.

When did our children get so "mature?" Is it because so many are in the midst of life situations that force them to grow up? Is it that we, as adults, are so busy with life that we forget our children need to be "raised?"

Should we put the blame on technology, if my iPad will read my son a story, then I can just get that last load of laundry washed or grade those last few tests. Or is it because so many parents, single or not, are so busy with life, that children have learned to adapt in order to survive?

I will be the first to admit, it's hard to be an exceptional parent, or a top notch teacher, when you are dealing with "messy" "battles" in your personal life. It takes a strong person to set your own issues aside and give your children 100 percent.

But don't they deserve that? This is the only time in their life they will have a childhood, nurture that. Don't let them "mature" too fast. 

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