Missoni Madness is on Target

Flats.

That’s it.

All I wanted out of all the Missoni merchandise debuting at Target in Walnut Creek on Tuesday, Sept. 13, was a pair of flat shoes. Every high end fashion and home décor magazine and website had been breathlessly ballyhooing for months the fact that the great Italian design house of Missoni was going slumming at Target for the benefit of all of us peons.

The August Vogue even had a whole feature on the Missoni family and how they were using the Missoni Target housewares in their own chic Italian villa. Who could resist? No one, apparently.

By 8:10 a.m. on Missoni Tuesday at the Walnut Creek Target, no flats in the famous zigzag flame stitch remained. Except for size 2. I was lucky to have made it into the store at all. Apparently a line snaked around the entrance hours before the store opened at 8.

Women crowded around the Missoni display tables, disappointment vying with envy on their faces as they eyed other women with carts piled high with telltale purple, black and neon green Missoni bounty.

“Don’t give it to her, she’s going to be re-selling on eBay,” one yelled as one woman started to weed through her Missoni stash and hand off to eager shoppers the items she’d decided against. No one wanted to leave empty-handed so many eagerly snatched up others' castoffs.

“This is all for my daughter’s new apartment,” claimed one Walnut Creek woman, whose haul from the Missoni launch leaned heavily to home décor. Bright throw pillows, mod glass vases and oversized melamine trays all in Missoni prints filled her cart.

It was much the same across this Great Nation of Consumers. The shoppers crashed Target servers for two hours.

In Walnut Creek, many women went for the clothes. Thin clingy black and striped knits and polyester blouses that looked like costumes from “That ‘70s Show” had been snapped up in a flash. All that remained was a wildly ugly neon green corduroy coat for $79.99. I tried it on.  Caught up in the crowd mentality, I convinced myself it looked good.

The Missoni hunters began to recognize each other as we wove our way through all the departments and scoured every shelf. We’d tip each other off that there were still Missoni towels or Missoni candles to be had on this or that aisle. Missoni hosiery and kids' clothes could be found in relative abundance.

"At least my child will be fashionable," lamented one Walnut Creek mom as she surveyed her cartful of pint-sized Missoni clothes.

Forlorn shoppers clustered around the empty racks while others expressed their disgust. Word was out that Target’s website had crashed from Missoni madness and all online items were sold out. Targets red-shirted employees became literal targets as shoppers descended on them demanding to know when the rest of the Missoni stash would emerge.

“This is it,” one worker admitted. “No more.”

Target employees commented that many of the Missoni-mesmerized shoppers were spending thousands of dollars.

The stuff was not cheap. Maybe for wealthy society matrons used to shopping at Nordstrom’s this was chump change. But for $79.99, did I really need a wildly ugly neon green corduroy coat because the label said Missoni? No. I did not. I put it back.

I wasn’t the only one. As the morning wore on, a funny thing happened. Women who had grabbed every Missoni item they’d gotten their hands on started to slip things back; sometimes in odd places.

A black-and-white zigzag print polyester blouse on the floor came to my attention. I tried it on. Another woman immediately asked to take it if I didn’t want it. Of course that made me reluctant to part with it.  It was $39.99. It was missing a button.

Already.

I took it to customer service. Ten percent off, they said. So $35 for a polyester blouse from Target with a missing button. So no.

Miraculously I spied a pair of size 7 bright zigzag print rainboots someone else had put back. And I don’t even wear rainboots. I live on a paved street, not a horse ranch. But they were a bargain at $34.99.  At least I had my Missoni prize for the day.